That’s right, they’re our favorite food at the raw seafood bar, and our favorite source of hilarious material. But until now, nobody’s bothered to put all the mussel jokes onto one page. I’ve taken on that responsibility. The results are below:
1. Why can’t Jews play sports? Because mussels aren’t kosher!
2. A mussel walks into a bar. “What are you doing here?” asks the bartender.
“I’m the bouncer,” it says. “Good,” the bartender replies. “We need the mussel around here.”
3. Why did the mussel cross the road? It was mussel-bound (for the other side)!
4. What do sexy seafood lovers wear? Mussel-tees!
5. Tommy’s parents take him to Red Lobster for his birthday. “Stop playing with your food!” says his mother. Tommy replies, “I’m just flexing my mussels!”
The above picture? Musselini, fascist lord of the shellfish. Below-is that man showing off his muscles, or are those mussels showing off their man?
Feel free to add your favorite mussel jokes in the comments section.
Culture Time 