Background: The daughter of powerful space monsters, Lady #MAGA doesn’t believe anyone can read her poker face … but nobody interprets her photogenic smiling, while space monsters destroy our cities, as inscrutable, so much as tone-deaf.
Space monsters separate human children from their parents at the atmospheric boundary layer? Lady #MAGA poses with her alien spawn.
Monstrous space weapons blasting toilet paper at a defenseless Puerto Rico? Lady #MAGA promises “we come in peace, Alejandro.”
And just when space monsters start singling out specific humans as crooked, slippery and dumb, Lady #MAGA tells Earth to “ignore the trolls, just dance.”
Don’t be fooled. Lady #MAGA doesn’t want to destroy the Earth … but that’s because she wants to rule it. Lest you think a benevolent space monster overlord wouldn’t be such a bad idea, here is a photo of Lady #MAGA in her true, 50-foot space monster form:
She is married to #J/K-LOL, who was once a human but was willingly transformed into a space monster to pursue his intergalactic ambitions. They may be living in a bad romance.
Evil Superpowers: None, really. But, like Lucy with the football, she’ll agree to peace summits with important humans like Al Gore or Planned Parenthood … only to stand back and do nothing when space monsters go on the attack.
Evil Catchphrase: “Pessimists are toxic. Space monsters are also toxic, when they spray alien venom on their enemies. But at least they’re not pessimists. What I’m trying to say is: we’re solution oriented. #MAGA u-la-la.”
Culture Time 