The online dating world can often be frustrating, but nothing is worse than feeling like you’re dumping all your romantic energy down a black hole, pouring your soul into your profile and not scoring any dates. Due to the complex differences between interacting with people online and in the real world, it’s sometimes hard to know why you’re failing.
One site I hear a lot of complaints about recently is LinkedIn, the dating site for young professionals. Men especially are having a hard time getting women to “Accept their invitation”, which is the sometimes pushy terminology the website uses for reaching out to people.
I absolutely believe LinkedIn can work for people looking to find love. I’ve heard stories of people who met through LinkedIn getting married, or in long-term relationships. It absolutely happens. They key is to try to improve your own use of the site to make sure you are maximizing your potential for such happy endings.
Here are some important tips to remember (note: mostly for men):
1. Don’t endorse all her skills.
Yes, she put all those out there and is asking for some level of outside assessment, but when you overwhelm her with endorsements, you may think you’re saying “I think you’re a competent and skilled contributor to society and I objectively appreciate all your talents”, she’s just reading a very loud message that “I just want to fuck you.” Desperation is always an immediate turnoff, and even if you think this woman is fantastic and deserves recognition, hold back until you get to know each other a little better.
2. No tie selfies.
Yes, women like a man who can fill out a business suit, but sometimes you can come across as a narcissist if you put it all out there immediately. Don’t spoil the surprise! Wait until you invite her over to your place before you start trying on your best clothing to impress. As a man on LinkedIn, you need to demonstrate quiet confidence. Let your personality shine, and then your wardrobe will only enhance your desirability, instead of relying on it completely.
3. Don’t be too honest on your resume.
Yes, you want fill out a whole page and invite room for conversation or fun stories when you first meet, but this is LinkedIn! You’re trying to score a date! Be goal-oriented. So even if you think it’s interesting or humorous to add that you worked two summers as a bouncer at your hometown strip bar, you might want to consider how that could come across to people who don’t know you personally. Also, remember, your resume is your chance to give someone NEW a first impression, so realize you can be whoever you want to be; no extra baggage attached!
4. Don’t pretend to be Garrett Ive
Garrett Ive is his own man. Don’t try to be anyone else but yourself. Remember that if you’re successful in getting a date, she’ll see you in person and will immediately recognize if you are or aren’t Garrett Ive. Just be yourself and you’ll do fine.
5. If she doesn’t respond in six weeks, move on.
The timeline for landing dates on LinkedIn is a little complicated, probably because a lot of invitations go right to spam mail. It’s good to be patient, but remember, there are plenty of young professional smartly dressed fishes in the sea, and you don’t want to spend your whole life waiting for a someone who just might not be that into you. Are you being realistic about your chances of success? Are you trying to score out of your LinkedIn League? Think about your life and the choices you’ve made.
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