Very recently I have discovered that posing as a llama–“llamafishing?”–is a more productive way of talking to people than trying to be myself.
The women I’ve spoken to as “Dakotallama” seem to appreciate and sympathize with the plight of a talking animal who has recently escaped from the zoo. For the most part.
Some ringing endorsements include:
“hahahahahhaha ok this definitely got my attention”- VeronicaMichelle
“Sure. But the government probably doesn’t agree with me. If you get deported, alpaca your bags myself.”-gingerale87, when asked if llamas should have the same rights as people
“Thank you. This is the best giggle I’ve hard in a while. I need you to know how much joy you have brought me. Thank you again.”-some blond chick who only was a 57% match.
“what’s your end game? just really curious haha”-IvyandGold asks, which is a ridiculous question, since I don’t even know the answer myself.
What IS my end game? I didn’t really have one. That is either the problem, or, considering how much more comfortable women seem to be conversing with a llama, the only logical solution.
This is a non-scientific experiment, then, as there are no testable hypothesis and no anticipated results. This is just a journey.
It hasn’t been all fun and games. Today someone said “I don’t care about you, I just like the llama” and when I told them that I AM the llama they called me a “weirdo.” Which I found frustrating, since this person is staring at pictures of llamas on a dating site for humans and yet I am the weirdo.
This seems to happen a lot in life. As in life, you might be sitting at a poker table with some dudes with obnoxious tattoos and they will give you useless and condescending advice, but you cannot attack their stupidity with anything but the cards you have been dealt.
Life is weirdos calling each other weirdos and the only way to be the winning weirdo is to exercise patience and humility. The easiest way to do this is to take a nap until three in the afternoon.
But yoga is good too.
Culture Time 