Goodbye

First, a quick obit: Dakota Dunlap McKee is dead. He drove his motorcycle into the sea and forgot to get off in time. Oops.

Now that I am finally going the sadness has affected me. I spent the last three hours being very emotional and nostalgic on the couch of my hotel room. Reflecting can quickly turn into brooding under the right conditions.

I’ll start by sharing what my friend Jonny said last week; everyone on Jeju has an expiration date, and you won’t know necessarily until it happens, but it happens. And mine happened. It happened very definitively, I spent the last week or in state of semi-conscious floor hugging, not accomplishing very much.

You’ll know it’s time to go when it the moment comes. It has nothing to do with the people there. You just lose your sense of adventure, of purpose, of vigor. Maybe excitement most of all. The gas tank is empty.

Thirteen months is a long time. I have a lot of excellent new friends and writing material. Some people are welcome to come visit Albany New York, or wherever I happen to be (traveling within the next 2-3 months is a priority), but not all at once.

I’ll have plenty of time to reflect on what I left behind, but for now here some things I will miss:

*my poker posse, who gave me the gift of brotherly love and protected me from the full consequences of drunk belligerence. Jonny, Taylor, Bob, Ptolemy, and all the groupies. You guys take care of yourself, watch your diet, and things should be fine.

*Canadians. I’m probably not going to see another Canadian for at least several months, until I have my shit together and am ready to go mobile. Montreal is pretty close, there’s a nice casino there. On the other hand, you never know, Canadians can be so tricksy. They look and sound so similar, they could be hiding in the bushes outside my house and I would just think they were normal American creepy people.

*My other friends, the active social life in general. Back home, I’m going to have to drive a car, or jog five miles, just to see a person. I’m going to have to follow rules again, I have to remember that cops and business owners in the US speak English again. I can’t just sit down in a cafe and play their piano or take my pants off or do something like that. I’m pretty sure I’ll be longing for the college-party atmosphere by this weekend. Albany is…a quiet place.

*Sports. Nice weather. Properly portioned meals. I’m going to have to fight to stay both active and healthy back home. I’m going to be living again in a place where the every aisle of the supermarket beckons with goodies that will go straight to the thighs. Fancy cheese! Fancy cheese CURDS! Sugar cereal! Organic sugar cereal! Ben and Jerry’s ice cream! Corned beef! Corned beef ice cream! Bread.

BREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

*Outback steakhouse-as-a-fancy-date-restaurant. Back home, the Outback is just going to be another shitty chain that inexplicably is packed on a Friday night.

*The lamb curry at Bagdad’s.

*The loud sex in my apartment. Back home, not only will there be only one occupant of my bedroom (1.5 if you count my family dog) but the only people who can complain about the noise are my parents and I won’t give a shit. Back in the states, the sex is very quiet.

*Speaking of which, I’m going to miss being able to dump on my landlord. My new landlords speak English, probably read the blog, and can deprive me of food and television if I’m not careful.

*My motorcycle.

Okay, to be continued. Next time with pictures?