Aaron Gets Locked in a Bank

Today ended with me sitting in a bank foyer for one hour while I waited for the police to come get me out. It wasn’t a very good day.

I should have known today was going to be a no good, terrible, horrible, very bad day. Last night I dreamt that I had been fired and my parents came all the way to Jeju to vouch for me, and it almost worked, until a teacher named Ron who I’VE NEVER EVEN MET BEFORE, and only exists to me by name, was in my dream and said that he refused to work with someone like me. He had more weight than my parents. I tried to punch him in my dream but before I could, a girl (no names just to be safe) got in the way and said that I would have to go through her. So I took her hat and spit on it before leaving. Then I killed myself, became a ghost, and tried to scare other teachers at the school, but they just laughed at me.

And this was all before I even got out of bed!

A cab driver today took me on a “special” route to Yale and overcharged me by 200 won (okay, 20 cents, but still).

Later shenanigans occurred at school which will go unmentioned.

What will go mentioned is that my eighth grade girls alternate between wanting to be my girlfriend and wanting to be my mother. Or worse, my great Aunt. They ask me how old I am. If I’m single. How tall I am. If I know Justin Bieber personally (because I’m from New York, and Justin Bieber is from…New York? What?)

Then they tell me I should shave. And that I should clean my glasses. They won’t even play games, they just “want to have conversation.” C’mon, girls, I thought I looked like Harry Potter! Doesn’t Harry Potter deserve some respect?

The pizza for dinner tonight was okay. So there was that.

Then I went on a hunt for a poker game at an apartment called Hyorim Sky. Finding the place was difficult to begin with. I got very confused and had to ask four different people, getting closer each time, until finally they made fun of me because it was the building just next door. One kid, however, manning a cashier station at a 7-11, just looked at me with his eyes glazed over when I asked where it was. I stood there for 90 seconds and then just gave up. Kids these days.

Once I got to Hyorim Sky, I not only knocked on three wrong doors, but they were three doors of PEOPLE I KNEW. They seemed to take it well but it was kind of strange and embarrassing. I got to poker in time to lose 4500 won ($4.50) on a hand where the winner hadn’t even looked at his cards.

It was on the way, at around 1 in the morning, that I made the fatal decision to stop at the bank to get some cash from the ATM machine. I have no idea what happened. Maybe the bank doors were designed to open but not close after a certain hour. Maybe the door broke. Whatever the case may be, I went in, saw that the ATM machines had all been shut down for the night, and then couldn’t get out. I had to go to the bathroom and seriously considered taking a leak in one of the potted plants, if not for the fact that help did arrive and also, there was a camera which was taping the whole thing. A few people went by while I banged on the doors, until finally someone noticed that there was a foreigner screaming from behind glass doors, and took pity on me.

The police came 30 minutes later and were laughing at me. Whatever. As long as I got to sleep in my own bed tonight.

And Rick Perry and Danny Danon are having a séance together or something shitty like that.

And the Mets lost.

Is it the weekend yet?